Santa Baby, Slip a Donut Under the Tree

There is not a specific required age at which Santa is revealed to just be one’s parents on a budget and which the stork is actually the birds and the bees, so when do parents decide that the time is right for kids to come out of their bubble of ignorance to face the harsh realities of the “real world”?

My parents were never the type to celebrate the holidays traditionally. I’ve spent most of my thanksgivings at Chinese restaurants because they’re the only ones still open. It’s not surprising that I also never believed in Santa. In third grade, I asked my mom for a Christmas present, as I was jealous of my classmates, who would always boast about their new toys and gadgets after break. My mother told me that I would have to compose to her an email fully in Chinese of my wish list as a tactic of making me practice my Chinese. The email took a good chunk out of my TV time, so you can imagine my excitement when I woke up that Christmas to see boxes underneath the tree. The label said “From, Santa”, but I was no fool. I've seen that wrapping paper hundreds of times in the hallway closet.

Turns out, my mother had actually just re-wrapped the clothes from my closet that she got me from Gymboree on black Friday. However, that’s not the point. Every time I tell someone that my childhood did not include Santa, they look at me with pitying eyes. What they don’t understand is that just because I didn't live off of the ignorant whims of childhood does not mean that mine was not fulfilling. Childhood is not defined by ignorance. Instead, ignorance is prominent in youth because it is just a product of censorship, a parental instinct to protect one’s child from any means of danger. The history teacher from Billy Collins’ poem “[tries] to protect his students’ innocence,” but he just doesn't understand that the truth of reality can also make his students stronger and more grounded. Santa’s missing presence from my life taught me to work for my rewards, even at a young age.